[Danny had been distracted recently. Between suddenly gaining the ability to fly (or at least to float with purpose), and the revelations that he had recently found in the library's record room it had been a few days since he'd met up with Varian. But he was always happy to talk to his friend.]
[Okay, he can do this, he can. He takes a few deep breaths. If he knew, he'd be so much more interested in Danny's findings than what he has to say. That's gotta be better than this. ]
It's definitely an in-person conversation. And it's ...really bad. Just preparing you for that. Can I drop by?
[He still dithers for a while, before finally plucking the courage to leave the apartment to go to Danny's, knocking on the door once he gets there, looking deeply worried.
[Varian sucks in a breath as he follows his friend inside, rubbing his arm in self-comfort, trying to keep the wave of panic from swallowing him whole. He can do this.]
Yeah- um. Yeah, it is. I've...not really told you anything about my past and I think after everything that happened with the portal...you deserve to know. You deserve to know who you're friends with.
This isn't about the whole accidentally releasing dinosaurs on the city thing again, is it? Because you already know my opinion on that. Making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person.
[Oh Danny, bless your heart. Varian raises his hands in mock surrender. ]
Oh, no no. Well, the portal thing got me thinking about it, especially seeing as you wouldn't let me take the fall alone on that. [Why YES, he is gonna be salty about that forever, thanks for asking.] It's...this is what I did before I came to the city. This is stuff I did back home.
[Danny maintains that taking responsibility for his part in that was the right thing to do. so good luck convincing him otherwise. In response to Varian's comment on that he simply grins at him, faintly smug.]
If its something that happened at home, does it really matter? The only thing you did here was try to get home, right?
[And regardless, Varian hadn't done anything to Danny. (Apart from all the explosions.]
Of course, it matters! [Does he sound a little panicked about this? He sure does!] It still happened. It-it still makes a part of me. It...it wouldn't be fair to the people I've hurt to just...ignore that.
[Because boy, has he tried that and it failed miserably. He exhales slowly. ]
I don't know if you met Rapunzel and Cassandra while they were here. They...they're from my world. Rapunzel is the princess of my Kingdom. Her hair was magical once and she came to me for help for it once...she thought I was a wizard.
[Ha ha, so incorrect.]
Anyway, Rapunzel's powers were linked to a magical artefact called the sundrop. It had a partner artefact called the moonstone. Due to some...complicated magical issues, the moonstone was seeking out the sundrop. It was creating these huge, unbreakable jagged rocks which were slowly cutting through the kingdom to find her. They started to destroy my village. Dad told me to leave them alone, but I wanted to help. So I started...experimenting on them.
[Danny listens intently, trying to understand what Varian was trying to say. All this stuff about magic and artifacts and suns and moons was new to him, but he thought he was following along.
And then he puts together what he knows about Varian and experiments, and he starts to worry. ]
[It's such a complicated mess and he knows it's near-nonsensical at times. Hell, HE can't make sense of half the magic in his world. ]
No. It didn't. [He swallows down a lump in his throat, trying to ease his breathing. ] I managed to make a chemical compound to use on the rocks, but they went wrong. I- they reacted in a way I didn't expect. It turned into this unbreakable amber. I nearly got caught in it, but...Dad pushed me out of the way and he got stuck in it instead.
[And it was terrifying, and heartbreaking- an image that still wrenches him from sleep well over two years down the line.]
I ran to the city- to Rapunzel. She'd promised me she'd help me and I was desperate to call that in. But the kingdom was facing a blizzard that was...a whole other magical thing. She couldn't help me and the guards threw me out because they thought I was attacking her. I...by the time I got back home, Dad was already completely encased. I...I didn't even know if he was still alive.
[And it had damn near destroyed him, and it's clear in his tone it did, his shoulders hunching. ]
[Scratch that. Danny was now very worried about Varian. He makes an half-hearted gesture to reach out to him, but wasn't sure if it would be welcomed/]
[He sure doesn't make any moves to push Danny away- as miserable as he looks.]
He is now, yeah, but it's- it took a while to get there. I um-
[He sucks in a breath.]
I knew that the item that gave Rapunzel her power was a magical flower. I'd heard rumours it still existed and I thought maybe I could use it to help him, if the princess wouldn't. So I...um, I drugged the guards with a truth serum I'd invented to find the location of it. Once I found it, I convinced Rapunzel to help me steal it, even knowing it was treason she helped me. When we found the flower, I took it and left her to take the fall.
[She'd helped him, and he'd spat in her face for it.]
No. After all that, it didn't work. I realised all the power was in her. But I knew she wouldn't just...help me after that. So I...took drastic action. I um- I mutated Ruddiger with this...serum, it turned him into a monster. I set him on the castle. While he was attacking the guards and keeping everyone busy I kidnapped the queen.
[There's no pride in his voice, in fact the overpowering emotion is disgust, turned very much inward.]
I thought she would come to rescue her mother, if nothing else.
No. No one wanted to help me. No one ever came to check on me, I just- I realised I was on my own and I made really bad choices because of that.
[Hindsight is both a wonderful and a terrible thing, it turns out. But Danny is absolutely right. A frustrated and upset Varian left on his own is not safe for anyone. He is not the best at making good judgement calls.]
I um- I'd made this...automaton army to deal with what was left of the guard and the citizens who'd come to help. I managed to get the jump on Rapunzel and the king- I- I used the amber solution near her mother to force her to help me. It might have killed her at that point but I just didn't care. [He's been so callous about the threat to people's lives and it just got worse from then.] It didn't work. It hurt her a lot, but it still didn't break the amber. She and her family escaped and I- I guess whatever was left in me just snapped. Or snapped worse.
I attacked them. I had this...this bigger robot I could pilot. I managed to grab her mom and her best friend with it and I...I tried to crush them to death with it. I wanted her to hurt as much as I had. I wanted her to suffer losing everyone she ever cared about.
[There's so much loathing in his voice as he hunches himself into as small a form as possible, his tail curling around his ankles. ]
I was so stupid. Luckily, Rapunzel figured out how to use the black rocks to her advantage and managed to stop me before I could actually hurt anyone. I got taken down and went to jail for a year. Um...until I broke out.
text: un: spacekid
Sure. What's up?
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It's definitely an in-person conversation. And it's ...really bad. Just preparing you for that. Can I drop by?
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Uh, sure? My parents are out today, so you can come over whenever.
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[He still dithers for a while, before finally plucking the courage to leave the apartment to go to Danny's, knocking on the door once he gets there, looking deeply worried.
Safe to say, this is bad. ]
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So what is it? It sounded kind of important.
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Yeah- um. Yeah, it is. I've...not really told you anything about my past and I think after everything that happened with the portal...you deserve to know. You deserve to know who you're friends with.
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We've been friends long enough that I think I know who I'm friends with. I don't need to know your past to know that.
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Yeaaah, you might not say that after this. I-uh. I was a really, really bad person, Danny.
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This isn't about the whole accidentally releasing dinosaurs on the city thing again, is it? Because you already know my opinion on that. Making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person.
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Oh, no no. Well, the portal thing got me thinking about it, especially seeing as you wouldn't let me take the fall alone on that. [Why YES, he is gonna be salty about that forever, thanks for asking.] It's...this is what I did before I came to the city. This is stuff I did back home.
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If its something that happened at home, does it really matter? The only thing you did here was try to get home, right?
[And regardless, Varian hadn't done anything to Danny. (Apart from all the explosions.]
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[Because boy, has he tried that and it failed miserably. He exhales slowly. ]
It just...it's really important, trust me.
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Well, if you really think its that important, I'll listen.
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[He lets out a slow breath. Okay.]
I don't know if you met Rapunzel and Cassandra while they were here. They...they're from my world. Rapunzel is the princess of my Kingdom. Her hair was magical once and she came to me for help for it once...she thought I was a wizard.
[Ha ha, so incorrect.]
Anyway, Rapunzel's powers were linked to a magical artefact called the sundrop. It had a partner artefact called the moonstone. Due to some...complicated magical issues, the moonstone was seeking out the sundrop. It was creating these huge, unbreakable jagged rocks which were slowly cutting through the kingdom to find her. They started to destroy my village. Dad told me to leave them alone, but I wanted to help. So I started...experimenting on them.
no subject
And then he puts together what he knows about Varian and experiments, and he starts to worry. ]
And I'm guessing that didn't go well?
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No. It didn't. [He swallows down a lump in his throat, trying to ease his breathing. ] I managed to make a chemical compound to use on the rocks, but they went wrong. I- they reacted in a way I didn't expect. It turned into this unbreakable amber. I nearly got caught in it, but...Dad pushed me out of the way and he got stuck in it instead.
[And it was terrifying, and heartbreaking- an image that still wrenches him from sleep well over two years down the line.]
I ran to the city- to Rapunzel. She'd promised me she'd help me and I was desperate to call that in. But the kingdom was facing a blizzard that was...a whole other magical thing. She couldn't help me and the guards threw me out because they thought I was attacking her. I...by the time I got back home, Dad was already completely encased. I...I didn't even know if he was still alive.
[And it had damn near destroyed him, and it's clear in his tone it did, his shoulders hunching. ]
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Varian... Your Dad's okay now, right?
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He is now, yeah, but it's- it took a while to get there. I um-
[He sucks in a breath.]
I knew that the item that gave Rapunzel her power was a magical flower. I'd heard rumours it still existed and I thought maybe I could use it to help him, if the princess wouldn't. So I...um, I drugged the guards with a truth serum I'd invented to find the location of it. Once I found it, I convinced Rapunzel to help me steal it, even knowing it was treason she helped me. When we found the flower, I took it and left her to take the fall.
[She'd helped him, and he'd spat in her face for it.]
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Did you fix it later?
[Because he remembered Varian talking about Rapunzel, and it sure sounded like they were still good friends. ]
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No. After all that, it didn't work. I realised all the power was in her. But I knew she wouldn't just...help me after that. So I...took drastic action. I um- I mutated Ruddiger with this...serum, it turned him into a monster. I set him on the castle. While he was attacking the guards and keeping everyone busy I kidnapped the queen.
[There's no pride in his voice, in fact the overpowering emotion is disgust, turned very much inward.]
I thought she would come to rescue her mother, if nothing else.
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....Varian.
[He stops. Because that was bad... and Varian obviously regretted it. But what could he even say about it.]
Wasn't there any other way? Was anyone helping you?
[Because if there was one thing he had learned about his friend in the last few months, it was that he shouldn't be left to deal with things alone. ]
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No. No one wanted to help me. No one ever came to check on me, I just- I realised I was on my own and I made really bad choices because of that.
[Hindsight is both a wonderful and a terrible thing, it turns out. But Danny is absolutely right. A frustrated and upset Varian left on his own is not safe for anyone. He is not the best at making good judgement calls.]
I um- I'd made this...automaton army to deal with what was left of the guard and the citizens who'd come to help. I managed to get the jump on Rapunzel and the king- I- I used the amber solution near her mother to force her to help me. It might have killed her at that point but I just didn't care. [He's been so callous about the threat to people's lives and it just got worse from then.] It didn't work. It hurt her a lot, but it still didn't break the amber. She and her family escaped and I- I guess whatever was left in me just snapped. Or snapped worse.
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And? What happened?
[How could it get worse than that? ]
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I attacked them. I had this...this bigger robot I could pilot. I managed to grab her mom and her best friend with it and I...I tried to crush them to death with it. I wanted her to hurt as much as I had. I wanted her to suffer losing everyone she ever cared about.
[There's so much loathing in his voice as he hunches himself into as small a form as possible, his tail curling around his ankles. ]
I was so stupid. Luckily, Rapunzel figured out how to use the black rocks to her advantage and managed to stop me before I could actually hurt anyone. I got taken down and went to jail for a year. Um...until I broke out.
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[ Danny does reach out to him now, putting a hand on his shoulder. He is silent for a moment as he tries to figure out what to say.]
I think I understand a little better now what you were saying. But... this doesn't change that we're friends, okay?
tw: sucicidal intention
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